Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Moustache Musings

Guest Blogger - Mr Percy Tew's Moustache

Greetings and salutations to all moustache enthusiasts. I have the splendid honour of being asked by Wakefield Museum to do a ‘guest blog’. 
Allow me to introduce myself, I am the fur, the mane, the whiskers, the strands, the lip thatch the marvellous and resplendent moustache of Mr Percy Tew.

Percy Tew and I in1889

The face upon which I reside belongs to that of Percy Tew, the eminent and important Wakefield Banker.  You may find us in the hallowed chambers of the West Riding Bank on Wood Street Wakefield.

I have been asked by the pogonophiles (those who love or study beards) at Wakefield Museum to discuss my life as a distinguished moustache and tell you about the forthcoming exhibition at this fine venue.
The life of an illustrious moustache such as myself, comes with grave and significant responsibilities. As a banker’s moustache I must represent stability, responsibility, trust and morality.  Mr Tew and I are to be trusted, admired and revered.  I must be constantly in perfect order, this is no mean feat. For example Mrs Tew likes to ensure that her beloved husband is well provided with tea, but a hot cup of steaming tea can play havoc with one’s moustache styling – a drooping moustache is not an attractive or desirable look.  Luckily there is a fine invention to combat this terrible peril – the moustache cup.  A small crescent shaped lip is applied to the cup allowing the moustache to gently rest whilst supping, keeping the strands safe from wilting.

I like to think that I have assisted with some of Mr Tew’s most inspired ideas, as when he is deep in thought he often twiddles some of my longer strands.  I am well rewarded of course,  Mr Tew keeps impeccably groomed, visiting his trusted barber frequently.  He also uses the best brand of moustache wax and has several effective and beautiful moustache brushes.
I note with considerable interest the varying styles of men’s hair featuring in this new exhibition.  I am astonished and alarmed to see some of the slapdash and, frankly shocking, ‘modern’ styles some men find acceptable.  It even transpires that men now shave at home – themselves – how preposterous.  

I would encourage all forms of facial hair to visit this most informative and entertaining display.
Now I ‘moustache’ I have a very important banking problem to solve with Mr Tew…

Men in the Mirror: opens Saturday 26 October at Wakefield Museum. Free admission.

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